Masada and the Dead Sea!

I went to Masada and the Dead Sea today.

That sentence is so insignificant to write, but doing those two things today was very significant for me.

I find myself again in that place where I feel like I am receiving special blessings from God.  What do you think about that? Are you so happy for me? Are you jealous of my adventure? Are you envious that I can just go out there and do this without any qualms?

Well I certainly hope not, and I suspect that if you were, you wouldn't be reading this, so that's good. But sometimes I wonder what is the right amount to talk about this. It's not like I had to spend my money to get here. I think my whole day yesterday cost me about 100 NIS (New Israeli Shekels), and that includes the best hot roast beef sandwich I've ever had in my life. The beef was even better than I make it at home. Happy surprise.

So, if you're still reading in spite of myself (or perhaps yourself), I'll confess that I have qualms about all of this. I've said before that David and I won't know if moving to Germany was a good or bad decision until we get home. Not really. But even while I am away from home for these three weeks, I find it a little bit stressful. What if tragedy strikes?

God is no less in charge if tragedy strikes in Pennsylvania, in Wiesbaden, or in Jerusalem. But for some reason, I feel like if something were to happen to me, David, or the both of us while we were on this adventure, people in my life would blame me. So far, everything has gone exactly as I'd hoped for (except the big move, you know, but that's insubstantial to the big picture). Even Alex's surgery being here was, I think, better than doing it in the States. But only time will tell.

My mom is coming tomorrow to help David with the kids. He's certainly had a rough week and a half. Lilly was running a fever again and was not herself for a few days. A package we received got flagged by customs and David had a hard time getting it settled because the customs officer injured himself and wasn't in his office during his posted hours. One of David's packages got lost by the post office on post, and he has to file a claim with legal. The people who were supposed to come by to fix the broken furniture didn't show up, then rescheduled for the next week. And then, just the everyday life of being the sole caregiver for four little kids. Whew! I'm proud of him. And although I don't really want to be away for three weeks, I'm going to make the best of it.

I had such a wonderful day at Masada and the Dead Sea. It was incredible. I got to see Herod's palace. King Herod! From the Bible! The bad guy, you know?!?! That was wonderful. I was enjoying myself so much, that even after traipsing around for three hours, I didn't want to leave! And as if just being there wasn't enough, on our way down from Masada, while walking to the car, we saw a family of ibexes, including some babies.

It was so incredible that, if given the opportunity to go again this week-end, I will! And I might be doing it. Going a second time will help me enjoy it even more. Going once is a little overwhelming because there's so much to see. I didn't really have time to pay attention to details. I'm hoping that if I go again, I will, whether to the Dead Sea, or Masada, or both. Time will tell.

No word on Dave's passport. We still have hope based on what the passport officer says. Time will tell on that one, too.

Are you still praying for us?!

On the way to Masada

King Herod's Palace

King Herod's Palace

At Masada outside of the palace

An ibex close up

Mandatory floating photo

Just how dead is the Dead Sea?

Camels!

That devil

This has been quite a rough week.

I'm on the airplane heading to Tel Aviv now. For the past couple of weeks, I have to say that I really feel like my husband has been working against me. Because of that, and because of other things that have been going on, I've been feeling like the devil has (or his minions have) been working against me.

My complaints are not major. I know that. I really do, and I feel like, in spite of how hard things have been leading up to this point, God has put His hedge around me. My family is all healthy, for one thing. Alex's surgery went so well, and I am still so thankful for that.

But my goodness, I am tired.

I mentioned earlier that I had something to support this week that I found interesting, and it's true and I did it. That being said, I had to be in to work early and leave late. I was supporting for three days, but I had forgotten that the first day of the week was Tuesday, not Monday, and so the fact that the conference started on the second day of the week meant that I could not take off on Friday so that Dave and I could prepare for my departure. Yikes.

Then last week, around Tuesday, David said, do I need a passport to go to Israel? Because you know mine's expired.

As a matter of fact, I did know that. But I had forgotten. And if you've been following my blog at all, you already know how often my memory has failed me and how much help I really need with getting things taken care of. A lot. Now what?

I had been tracking prices on plane tickets and it was time to buy or bow out. I bought his ticket, taking a risk that even an expedited passport might not make it in time. With the first appointment we could get at the passport office, we would only have two weeks for it to arrive. But I want David to come to Israel so badly. Because I love him. Because he deserves it a lot. Because Israel is so amazing. Because I miss him. Because, really, who is David again? Seems like I don't get to spend time with him these days.

Yesterday was his appointment at the passport office. Mind you, when I made the appointment, I thought I would be able to take a nice day and have lunch with the kids and take them to the playground while David got his paperwork taken care of. Because I thought the conference was over on Thursday. But it wasn't, and I couldn't get out of work and didn't even want to ask.

So I rode the bus in to work yesterday for the first time. It wasn't bad, but my first bus was late and I missed the connection. It didn't make me late because I reserved that much leeway, but I wasn't early like I wanted to be. On the way out of the conference, which finished up around lunchtime, I dropped my favorite coffee mug that was a gift from a friend that was a replacement of the coffee mug that one of the kids dropped. Shattered it. (Sorry, Nikki! You know what to bring me when you visit, right?) Then I read a text from Dave, and I inferred from it that David did not even expedite the passport. I call him to verify and tell him that he's not going to get to go to Israel. I am, after all, in a hurry to get back to my office, write my report, and head home so I can pack since I had to leave at 0630 this morning.

But I go to the passport office because I REALLY want him to come to Israel. And I spend about an hour there to find out that, no, David didn't mention that he was leaving in two weeks (as I already knew), no, we don't expedite passports from this office, but yes, there is a chance that you can get a passport in time from the consulate. The generous man at the passport office will ask the consulate on Tuesday if they can issue an emergency passport. But it will only be good for a year, and it's possible as much as not possible.

Neither David nor I are willing to accept responsibility for this fiasco. He says I knew his passport was expiring because he told me last summer (which he did). I say I shouldn't have to remember everything for everybody (which I do have to but fail), least of all for a 45-year-old man. Then he says that he can't remember because everything is too hard because of all the kids and we don't have a second car and...

You know. The difficulties of being over here alone without our support network are endless. But the benefits of being over here at all are magnificent, and I expect going to be even better this year. So that is where we are.

I am resolved to the fact that David and I will not be reconciling this fiasco. Because of that, I am resolved to the fact that something similar is going to happen in the not-too-distant future. I am not soliciting opinions for who's right and who's wrong. I am really only writing about it to vent, and to push you all, you who are reading this, to keep praying for us because we need it.

We really do! That devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy! He's pretty good at his job, too. Now, we're supposed to find out if we'll get a passport or not by Tuesday afternoon at the latest. I would LOVE to be able to update this post with the great news that David got his passport. But I don't think it's likely, and I'm trying not to be too sad about it.

But I'm just so darn tired. And when I get tired, I don't handle stuff as well as I normally do. So I'm a little beaten down by this sad likelihood. And people (especially David) seem to think that these three weeks are going to be a "nice break" for me, but that's just not so. I'll make the best of it, for sure. I'll enjoy the sunshine and maybe get a chance to do some sightseeing. But I'll be working a lot and I'll be away from my family. Right?

So yes, I need your prayers. And David needs your prayers while I'm away, especially the first week and a half until Mom comes to help. We'll get through it of course. And we have so much to look forward to!! But in the meantime, we really need those prayers!!!

A little update and Cologne (Köln)

Alex's surgery went so well. I know it didn't have to and I thank God that it did. He suffered with severe pain directly upon waking, but that was it. After that, he was eating pizza and I was cautioning him not to run and jump so much. He was back to school in time for the Valentine's Day party.

I am exhausted. Not having Lilly sleep by herself has been devastating to my sleep. I got word about my household goods. Repair to the crib was authorized, and it may even happen quickly. Getting Lilly to sleep by herself is going to be a nightmare, but a necessary one. The poor girl doesn't know what's ahead for her.

As far as the rest of the household goods, I don't want to talk about it. I got their response, and I am fuming mad about it. I'm not giving up yet, though, so there's no reason to spend too much time dwelling on it right now.

I did get some good news recently. I thought I was going to be on travel for two weeks in April, but I found out that I will be here. Yay! I might have long work days, but at least I'll be local. This week I am supporting something I enjoy locally, and the week after, travel. It's all working out, though. I wanted to go to Munich this weekend, but Munich is going to be cold and rainy, so we might go to Strasbourg instead. Dave and I visited there once, before I had my digital Canon camera. It would be great to go again!

...We're in a great hotel in Cologne, actually. Beautiful city! Strasbourg had a big wine festival going on and David and I both wanted to avoid a crowd. Our hotel is right across from the cathedral, so I got some great pictures. It was a beautiful day. And guess what else we did? We visited the Lindt chocolate museum. That was fun and it smelled so good. I have thoroughly enjoyed myself today. I'm hoping for the same tomorrow, although I haven't decided for sure what we'll do.

... All right. I thought we might go to the zoo today, but the three big kids actually voted against it. They were tired and cold. You want to know what they did today, though? They all three climbed up and down the 533 steps of the church tower! I couldn't believe it! They got a little nervous near the top where the stairs had an open bottom, but they did it, and they did it well. I was quite impressed with them.

We started back after I zoomed through the sanctuary. I ended up with quite the unexpected and sudden migraine, so fortunately, David is driving us home, and gave me a moment to rest with my coat over my eyes. Our friend Ken borrowed "The Call of the Wild" on CD for us. I'm pleasantly surprised, because David seems to be enjoying it.

Pictures!

Stained glass is always one of my favorites

This is the Church of Great St Martin

Hohe Domkirche Sankt Petrus

A sign read: In the wooden reliquary on the right side lies the great memory of Rychez, the granddaughter of Emperor Otto II and Teofania, the Queen of Poland, the wife of the Polish King, Mieszko II, and the network of Casimir the Restorer. Born about 1000. Died 21 March 1063 (translated by Google translate from Polish) 

Aztec exhibition in Lindt chocolate factory

Looking at the bunnies

Along for the ride

Proud kids at the very top of the cathedral! (Tired, too.)

David and I are laughing

So. David says this is what we get for trying not to be the typical Americans by trying to learn the language.

We have been to McDonald's here often enough to know that they have a chicken nuggets menu item that makes sense for us and the kids. The picture on the sign above the cashier calls it the "Hühnglaubliches menu."  David and I have both mastered that very difficult word! But oddly enough, and I just found this out about David, we've both been getting very strange looks when we order it, and have often had the response, "Chicken nuggets?"

Well. After 8 months of being here, I finally just learned (through a news story I was attempting to read along with the help of Google translate) that the word for "unbelievable" is--can anybody guess?--"unglaubliches". So McDonald's was doing a play on words, and it got us. Thanks McDonald's.

When I was in college, Taco Bell had an advertisement that said, "Think outside the bun." I had an Egyptian friend at the time, and one time he told me to think outside the bun. I gently corrected him, but I thought it was so. darn. cute. For some reason, I don't think the Germans have that kind of emotional reaction to my language blunders. Hah. Germans. I'll share our impressions later. I'm building up my thoughts.

Have a great night! (Or day.)

Sitting in the waiting room

I'm sitting here and I have anxiety. My nerves are jingling, but at the same time, I have confidence that it will be okay. I'm surprised I'm nervous, actually.

Naturally, things were lost in translation for this appointment today. Last week, they told me they would call me the day before and tell me what time to come in. Of course they didn't. I left work early enough and called them, and fortunately they answered. I asked what time should I come tomorrow. They said, "Morgen". I said, "Welche Uhr?" Which is supposed to mean "which hour". They said 1200. I said, "mittag?" because I thought he was coming earlier. They said yes. Of course, this is my side of the story. I'm sure the office people have a different story they would tell! "Morgen" means tomorrow and morning, so that could be the main source of the confusion. But I don't know why mittag would have come into the conversation at all. Oh well. Doesn't really matter, and the ear doctor was kind about it. I appreciate him.

I show up, and his name isn't on the list at all. The lady then figures out that I'm late and should have come at 0730. Great. If you follow me on Facebook, you saw that they accommodated us. Fortunately! And that's why my nerves are jingling, because he's going under anesthesia.

That boy has been SO excited to eat popsicles, pudding, and ice cream and to be off from school for a week. He got the line in for his anesthesia without fuss, and I'm proud of him. His kindergarten teacher told me that his class is excited for him for the ice cream and pudding, but many of them think it's too cold to eat popsicles. How cute! I hope he isn't too sore. I remember waking up from my adenoids being removed at age nine. I don't remember any pain, though. So I'm hopeful.

I'm going to update this when he's done. Thank you for your prayers.

He's sore. At first he was in a lot of pain. Like, too much pain to handle it. Then the doctor, with whom I'm very pleased, ordered the anesthetist to give him some pain medicine. He must have ordered the good stuff, because five minutes later, Alex was calm and still. Thank God. It was very difficult to watch him suffer. I did, mind you, tell him the same thing that my mom told me when I had my adenoids removed: that I would take his pain for him if I could. It was true, of course, but for some reason, I think that this suffering will make Alex a better person. I wonder if that's true.

He had his pudding and ice cream. He goes back to the doctor tomorrow for a check-up, and again on Tuesday. I'm hoping that he can make it back to school in time for Valentine's day. Isn't that silly of me? 

I was pretty impressed with the whole ordeal. They did't make it as much of one here as they would have in the States.  A little while ago, the doctor called to check on Alex. That was nice.  He also gave me a phone number to call at any time. Also nice.

Again, thank you for your prayers. I'm praying for a good night for him, too.

On the road to recovery

Tuckered out on the short ride home

GRRRRR! He's not going to cry when he gets the needle!

GRRRR!

Just waiting

The things I feel guilty about

"Confess your sins one to another."   --James 5:16

I'm writing this on the supposition that I am not alone. Do other mothers / women / human beings have feelings of guilt from time to time with which they struggle?

I felt guilty yesterday morning for getting impatient with Alex before school. He would not move no matter what I said, and my frustration was starting to show. It probably isn't even his fault. I'm pretty sure he can hear almost nothing. (Praying that improves after today's surgery.)

I feel a little bit guilty when I come home on Thursday night wanting to do absolutely nothing. Thursdays are hard for me. I am tired because of the end of the week, but knowing I still have another day to go makes me feel even more tired. I've been that way for my whole adult life.

I've been thinking lately that I'm ready to start getting in shape again. The birth of twins at 37 and another baby at 40 really did some damage to my body, especially my core. I know I need to work on that. But then, I feel guilty for spending an extra hour away from home when I'm already gone so much each day and overall. And this is my conundrum: then I feel guilty for not being a better example for the kids, and for not taking the best care of myself so that I can live a long and prosperous life.

I feel guilty sometimes when I do other things to take care of myself, too. I don't really spend money on myself to buy essential things like good shoes or a nice coat. Many of you saw that I started as a personal consultant for Rodan and Fields (http://pattyalexander.myrandf.com), but at first I felt guilty for spending money on myself for that skin care. It seemed like it was too much, even though the products last for several months with each purchase. Now I'm probably going to feel guilty because I don't want my friends to think I'm pushing them, even though I know what good it has done me, and I just want to share that good. To my faithful friends, especially the handful of you who read this regularly or follow me on Facebook regularly, please know that our friendship won't be affected by me becoming a consultant. I love you because I love you. The driving force for me doing this is because I personally feel so blessed by how good it has been to my skin. The other driving force, perhaps, is that I'm a little bit crazy because the Lord knows I have a busy life. But honestly, I've been praying about it for 5 or 6 months. I like the idea of a new challenge in working out the paperwork behind the business and in understanding the way it works. It's going to be interesting to me, I'm sure.

See, now I'm feeling guilty about writing too much about my new business!

Anyhow, the verse I wrote above is probably misleading. I don't think that buying myself this skin care or a nice coat or good shoes is a sin (for me). I actually think that feeling guilty over these things is the true sin. Here's why:

1) “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, so that there may come times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord, -- Acts 3:19

I think that these good things are actually a blessing from God. I have repented (and continually repent) and rely on the blood of the Lamb, and therefore I am now in a time of refreshing. I know the time of refreshing may not last because the fallen state of the world impacts our lives, but for now, things are good. And I also know that I'm heaven bound so true refreshing will surely happen. That's always something to look forward to.

2) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.  -- John 10:10 

What is this abundant life that Jesus is talking about? I know it's not centered on things. My life is full with my family and the other blessings that God puts in it. But at the same time, He doesn't want me to be riddled with stress that I'm not a good mother because I'm going to the gym to work out instead of being at home to make sure the kids get a bowl of cereal before I leave. (I haven't started that yet, BTW.)

3) For our proud confidence is this: the testimony of our conscience, that in holiness and godly sincerity, not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially toward you. -- 2 Corinthians 1:12 

Here I think the key is about conducting ourselves in the world with holiness and godly sincerity. I am not proud that I have achieved this yet, as Paul is in this verse, but I am hopeful that I will make the mark at some point. And instead of having a guilty conscience over things which I should not, I will have proud confidence in its place.

As it stands now, I am looking for a healthy balance. I have no idea why I feel this guilt sometimes. I think it might be societal. But I know that if I rest in Christ's abundant love and in the abundant life that He gives me, He will guide me and continue to draw me closer to him. And that is what's important, because someday on this earth, I will say My Last Amen.

Speaking of abundant life, check out this matar paneer that David prepared yesterday from start to finish. It was delicious!

Griffy the cat!

I love your past, present, and future.

View from Church of the Redeemer

O Israel, hope in Jehovah; For with Jehovah there is lovingkindness, And with him is plenteous redemption.  And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities. 

(-- Psalms 130:7‭-‬8 ASV https://bible.com/bible/12/psa.130.7-8.ASV)

My title is directed toward Jerusalem again.  I got to visit Jerusalem for about four hours on my last Thursday in Israel. Once again, it was incredible.

I can't do it justice, I'm afraid. It is amazing and fascinating, and most incredibly, Jerusalem is timeless.

I am fascinated by its past. Living in Europe for this short amount of time has given me a new perspective on history. I feel like being here has brought me closer to history. I am more able to imagine people walking the same steps I'm walking, only 700 years earlier. When I go to Jerusalem, it's not only 700 years as most of the museums near me seem to focus (except the archaeological museum, which goes back much further), but 2500+ years. It's awesome.

I am fascinated by Jerusalem's present. Are you watching what's going on? The fact of President Trump moving the embassy to Jerusalem is a BIG deal. Whether you agree with him or his decision or not, this move could have biblical implications. We will wait and see.

I'm most fascinated with Jerusalem's future. Do you see those verses from Psalms in the Bible? God is going to redeem Israel from all his iniquities. 

Redeem.

I visited the Church of the Redeemer in the Old City while I was there. It had a tall tower that we were able to go up and see some great views of Jerusalem. It also had a beautiful congregation area. I wish I could attend a service here. I think it would be beautiful.

I'm thinking about the word redeem and how it applies to me. 

Talking about Jesus Christ, Titus says this: ...who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify for himself a people for his own possession, zealous for good works.

(-- Titus 2:14 WEB https://bible.com/bible/206/tit.2.14.WEB)

Not only is He going to redeem Israel from all iniquities, He is also going to redeem us from all our iniquities. He's going to redeem me.

For what purpose? So that I can belong to Him, and be zealous to do good works.

God's been talking to me about works lately. I think I'm to the point in my life when I have to stop excusing my lack of good works due to the fact of having four little kids. I enjoy doing good works, but I haven't really devoted myself to any since I was the treasurer of a small church in MD before we moved to PA. So now what? This is becoming my latest challenge.

Will you pray for me about it? What are your good works? How do you fit them into your busy life? How can I do good works even while I'm often away from my home base for the work that pays my salary? These questions are on my mind a lot these days.

I am getting so excited. Mom's ticket is bought and she will be coming in March after I leave. I'm very close to buying Dave's ticket to come while I'm there. He has no idea how good it will be. I mean it. No idea. I'm way more excited about him coming than he is about it. But he'll understand why once he gets there.

And I want to offer this to my female friends and perhaps any of my blood relatives: If you want to share my hotel room so you can visit Israel more cheaply, email or text me. I have my dates between now and until I leave Germany, and it's possible they could work for you.

It's taken me so long to write this. I'm going back soon. I hope the weather is calmer, but no matter what, I know that this is a blessing from God that I surely don't deserve. I will praise Him and worship Him forever.

Delicious falafel

Church of the Holy Sepulchre

On the way

Church of the Redeemer

Also Church of the Redeemer, nearly halfway up

Graduation at the Western Wall

Market mosaic and store

Leather at a market stall

Crazy weather. See the water coming past the pavilions?

It was at this point that I departed for the airport