Doctors in Germany

I finally went to a doctor for the first time since Lilly was 6 weeks old. What a different experience here than at home! This doctor is the same one I had found for David. She's female, 40 years old, and fluent in English. There's such a difference in the attitude that doctors in Germany have compared with doctors in the U.S. I believe it has to do with the health care system differences, although I would have to explore that a little more to be sure.

Dr. P answers her email! She sent me (over a year ago) recommendations for a pediatrician. She is the one who came to get me out of the waiting room. And even though she was at least 35 minutes late today, she still spent twenty minutes with me and set up three appointments with me (necessary since I haven't had anything preventive done in over two years). I finally figured out that doctors go by Herr and Frau here instead of by their professional position. (Wouldn't it be funny if I required everyone to call me Analyst Alexander all the time?) In my opinion, they're just more down to earth here than at home. And she is not my only data point.

The other day, I was having dinner with some girlfriends (most of whom were new to me), and one of them noticed that her doctor was at the table next to us. He came and sat down with us for a minute and chatted jovially. He told her he was watching her! Lol. It's a very interesting dynamic here that I'm somewhat grateful for. Usually seeing a doctor is stressful enough, but here it would be worse because of the language barrier at the front desk (everywhere) and the difficulty in getting there (I took the bus to make it easy on myself). The down-to-Earth attitude of most of the doctors here at least alleviated part of that stress. Yay for German doctors, and especially the one I met today!

On another note, we had a lovely little birthday party for the twins yesterday.  I had them invite five friends each, and then I invited one more because I wanted her parents to stop by, too.  Of the 11 kids we invited, 7 showed up. It turns out that my cowboy theme was a good idea.  I was able to get some cute cowboy hats from Amazon. Then, much to my delight, a local chain discounted some ponies at a very high discount. Plus, I decided to do a "torn paper" craft and build a cactus for a "pin the flower on the cactus game". Torn paper was a craft I found last year at this time for kids at my work Christmas party. (Torn paper Christmas trees.) I consider it a Pinterest success! I used foam and glue sticks for the flowers, and some of the children liked them so much that they took their flowers home with them.

One little boy was so shy that his mom decided to stay. Thank God!  Her translation proved to be invaluable.  I'm sure we would have gotten by, but her help made it a lot less stressful for me.  What a sweetheart! We sent home treat bags (plus the cowboy hats) with "gold dust" (yellow gum), "rocks" (jelly beans"), and balloons. I wanted to include sheriff's badges, but the cowboy hats were pricey enough, and the sheriff's badges were pretty chintzy, so I didn't get them. I wanted to buy enough horses for everyone, but the store only had 4. So we had "door prizes."

It was a fun party, and fun to finally get to interact with some Germans, who were very sweet all around. Perhaps their public presence is different from their private presence. Or perhaps the parents at the twins' school are just a little more easy-going. Who knows? Regardless, it was a good time.

Next up for me, I have to make 40 cupcakes without icing and figure out how to take them to the twins' school.  It was nice that we didn't have to invite all of the kids in the classes to the birthday party.  I can't imagine this place with 20 additional kids (or more) running around. For Alex's birthday, we have to invite the entire class. He doesn't really care for one boy and asked, "Why do I have to invite T--?" I'm hoping that less than half will show up! He wants to have a Jurassic World themed party, even though he hasn't seen the movie. I guess that's fine?

He's really happy I gave him some Pokemon cards.

Why I love my cluttered and chaotic life

Ouch. Just stepped on a Lego.

There's poop on the toilet again.

"I don't want this EVER!" (Lilly)

Has anyone seen a clean, flat surface lying around?

"Get your finger out of your nose." (Me.)

Slinking down the steps before getting ready for school.

"I hate this soup! And I don't want peanut butter and jelly!" (The power of three.)

Laundry. Mounds and mounds of it.

My sleep was interrupted 6 times last night. I ONLY HAVE FOUR KIDS!

12 infections requiring intervention in October and November. (Did I mention that I only have four kids?!)

... But the good thing is that all of this, all of THIS, the craziness that is in my life, is there because I have four little kids at home, and a beautiful, wonderful, still sometimes unbelievable family.

I honestly love the Legos. They are everywhere. It's okay, though. It's a good way for me to relate to the boys, and I'm hopeful it will last into their youth. They hurt quite a bit when you step down on them, but now I just walk around the house light-footed like a ninja. That also helps me to scare David half to death. I did it hilariously on our honeymoon. It remains one of my favorite pastimes to this day.

I have a great life. I'm tired, don't get me wrong. I'm ALWAYS tired. But moms are usually tired, I think. Moms remember. Everything. And when moms forget because we can't really remember everything, moms have more work because of it.

Moms fill every role. We abate. Berate. Comfort. Defend. Encourage. Finalize. Generate. Hug. Instruct. Judge. Kiss. Love. Memorize. Nag. Overrule. Praise. Query. Remember. Synchronize. Tally. Understand. Video. Wait. Examine. Yell. And see our children as a zenith in our lives.

And we do all of that in the first hour of our day, most days!

I know other moms who are very tired. (I'm thinking of you, MBS.) I want to tell the tired moms that your good deeds and tireless, unending efforts do not go unnoticed. True, your husband may not notice. Perhaps he underestimates your work and overestimates his contributions. Your children may not notice. They may be at an age when they're just too little to understand, or too self-involved to take note. Your parents may not notice. They may think you're not doing an adequate job or you're doing it incorrectly. Your friends may not notice.  They may judge you for having too many kids in this awful world, or not having enough kids when this awful world needs more good people like you.  But God always notices. Always.

So keep your chin up, Tired Mom. You can do this. You're strong, too strong to quit. You're needed, whether they know it or not. You're worthy, no matter what the people around you might say. And your work IS noticed, and your work will be rewarded.

“Restrain your voice from weeping

    and your eyes from tears,

for your work will be rewarded,”

declares the Lord. 

Jeremiah 31:16

Me attempting to get a good picture of all four kids at once.

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Keep scrolling. That was about a third of all I took.

Nope.  Couldn't do it.  I'll settle for a rock with a red berry on it.

Zahnschmerzen

That is a word I wish I had never learned. It means tooth pain, and the reason I learned it is because Griffin has cavities and has had them for some time, and I ignored it, or at least denied it. Who ever heard of a preschooler getting a cavity!? His teeth are only like 3 years old!

I admit, I had hoped to avoid going to the dentist at all for the two years we're here. That wasn't the plan initially, but the process of finding a pediatrician, paying for it, and getting reimbursed has been SUCH a hassle with BCBS that I really hoped it wouldn't be absolutely necessary for the "optional" dentist and eye doctor. I have different dental insurance, and their claims process is completely by paperwork. At least BCBS has an online process for my end.

Since Griffin had been complaining, about three weeks ago, as David was driving us in town, I noticed a kinder "zahnarztpraxis" and wrote down their website. But I had work-up to going TDY and then the travel itself, and frankly, I thought I still had time. But one of my biggest pain measures for the children is when something keeps them awake at night. If pain is keeping them awake, I know they're not faking it or exaggerating. David told me Friday morning that Griffin woke up moaning at 2:00 a.m. and kept waking up all night. So I finally realized it was urgent. Bad momma.

Four days earlier, I had emailed that dentist to get an appointment, but I wrote my email all in English because most doctors speak English anyhow, and the hassle of the language barrier is really painful and stressful. I got no response, however, so Friday morning I wrote an email in German and hence learned the word for toothache. I'm sure it was very bad German. I'm stubborn and don't like to overuse Google translate. But it got the point across, and they were willing to see Griffin at 1600.

I was still on travel on Friday, so I had to leave early, and then there was the stress of cutting out early without looking like a dirtbag, and also making it home in time regardless of the traffic. I didn't get out as early as I had hoped, but we made it in time because I had David drop us off instead of taking the bus.

We waited for almost an hour, but it was understandable since the dentist fit us in at the end of her day. She gave Griffin a shot of Novocaine, and man, was he tough. I'm still impressed. She cleaned his tooth and he still complained about pain, so she took an x-ray and determined that it would need to be pulled. She packed it with cotton and told me to take out the cotton with tweezers the next day. I told her his other side was painful, but she said that it would be to much for him all in one day. I think that's what she said. It was all in German, and I'm sure a lot was lost in translation. I have an appointment for a follow-up for his other side and another one to get the worst one pulled.

Although that work alleviated his pain a little bit, Griffin complained all weekend and refused to eat, or when he did eat, he was eating with his front teeth. He wasn't sleeping well and couldn't sleep at all without Tylenol. So first thing Monday morning, I wrote another email. Then, to David's grave frustration and stress, I asked him to take Griffin because I've never really had much dental work and I wanted to make sure that Griffin was getting the care that he needed. The children's practice couldn't fit us in on Monday, but my letter was convincing enough that they said they would see him on the adult side. I had made Griffin go to school, but it was okay because David said they had said we could take Griffin in at any time that day. However, when David got there around 1400, they told him they had wanted him before noon, so it would be a half hour wait. I had hoped to work all day and evening that day to wrap up things I had been doing on travel the previous week, but this was too important so of course the wait would be worth it.

Griffin and Daddy walked up to meet us girls while we were waiting for Alex's bus, and David told me that the new dentist, who spoke English well, filled Griffin's first tooth and was upset that the first dentist had left a gaping hole to begin with, and also filled his second tooth. David said this dentist had a very good demeanor and was willing to be Griffin's dentist, even though he doesn't specifically work with children most of the time. Griffin is feeling much better and sleeping and eating again. Today I gave him an apple for his school snack for the first time in a couple of weeks. He says there's a little bit of pain on the second tooth, so that may end up needing to be pulled, but at least he's okay for now. That poor boy went through a lot!

I'm not blaming this on November, though, because it's a carry-over from October that I should have already taken care of. November is going to be a good month, I think. I feel bad that Griffin suffered, of course, but I don't have too much Mom guilt because one can only do the best one can do. I NEVER expected to see cavities, especially of this severity, in a four year old.

Tough little guy in the dentist's chair.

He's all better.  Getting a haircut a few days later.

Handsome with a high and tight!

Oktober!

I'm a bit behind on posting this, but since I already wrote it...

October has been such a difficult month for us. Shortly after David got back from the hospital, he had a flare-up of gout that ended up landing in his feet. Gout is extremely painful, like, unbelievably painful, so David literally didn't walk for a week, if not more. When your partner doesn't walk and you're part of a family of six, that leaves you with a lot of work.

I've been working non-stop since about September 24th when we first got sick. It's been more difficult with David home and in pain than when he was in the hospital. I have to take care of him and the kids, and try to mediate since he is irritable because of his pain. Thankfully, just Monday, he finally went to the doctor and got some medicine. He started walking again that evening because the medicine was controlling the pain so well. Why didn't he go sooner?!?! I'm just saying.

The good news is that Lilly is sleeping in her bed, and Livvy is loving her "new" bed, too! The first night, Lilly yelled for an hour, "I don't want this!" Then for the next hour, she yelled, "I don't want this EVER!" But the next night, she only said it for twenty minutes. Then the third night, she said it once, and not very emphatically. On the fourth night, she walked into her bedroom like a big girl and got into bed by herself without being told. I'm thrilled! I haven't gotten a solid night of sleep yet, because she wakes up if her covers fall off of her and calls me to put them back on her. That little girl in that big twin-sized bed is so cute! And I don't mind being woken up because I'm sleeping much better now that she's not on my arm. Sometimes I even wake up refreshed! Hallelujah!

Today we are going to two different trunk or treat events on post. It's a pleasant day. A little chilly, fall foliage, heavy clouds. It's nice to be out and about and enjoying October, really for the first time all month! Monday morning, I am going away for the work week. I'm hoping to be able to come home on Wednesday for trick or treating. We'll see. This is the time I start to get so excited for Christmas. Only 59 more days! But for now,

Happy Halloween, everyone!

You see a little copycat?

Panna cotta is one of my all-time favorite desserts. I think these were johannisbeeren. It was delicious!

Where I stayed while TDY.  I drove home on Halloween to trick or treat with the kids.

SO MANY doctor visits in October. It was awful!

But by this time, they were all better. Thank God!