A brief update

Sitting in the doctor's office with Alex. We're at the ENT because Alex can't hear and in Germany, the pediatricians don't mess around with ears, apparently. So the ENT took one look and said we need to remove his adenoids. That was last week. Today we are getting the surgeon's opinion. I am sure it will be the same. I had mine removed when I was nine, and Dave and I both had a lot of ear problems as children. Poor little buddy! He's such a trooper, even as described by the kindergarten teacher and by the school nurse. He takes it well. I'm not going to be taking it well, putting my poor little buddy into surgery at six years old!

I remember when I was getting prepared for surgery when I was nine. They were giving me a shot in the bum and doing a very poor job of it. They kept sticking me and I cried and cried. I remember my mom telling me that if she could bear the pain for me, she would. Those weren't her words, probably, but that was the message. And it was at that point that I started realizing really for real how much Mom does for me and would do for me. And in general, the same for most of the moms out there.

This will be a challenge, though. My work schedule is loading up like crazy, and I really don't want to do this over December. I may be gone for 2.5 weeks in January, so it would be February more likely. I don't think the surgeon will like that at all. (Neither do I.) But it is what it is!

We missed the opening ceremony of the Christmas market this week. But Alex and I just walked through it on our way to the doctor, and unbeknownst to Dave, we're coming this Saturday. That will be so nice!

I'm going to Bavaria for work on Sunday. It will be another rough week for Dave, but he's doing pretty well holding down the fort while I'm gone. I'm very glad that Mom will be able to come out while I'm away in March for 3 weeks. After that, I'm expecting things to slow down.

... Yep. Surgeon agreed with the ENT. But it will be done in early February, so that is good.

So excited for Christmas! Getting more excited as time passes, with Mom coming and the Christmas markets opening up. St Michaelmas is coming. What is that when the kids put their boots out? And we just had the twins' fourth birthday! Woo hoo. It's my favorite time of year.

Merry Christmas and God bless you all!!

Snowing at the Casino

Wiesbaden Christmas Market

Alex enjoyed the fries

Getting so big!

MMM. birthday cake

Trier, Germany

Trier, Germany was every bit as awesome as I expected it to be. It rained the entire day but was still incredible. We saw the Porta Nigra, a coliseum, and a good part of town since we walked to the coliseum. There was a march or protest, which I pulled the family away from for our safety, thanks to the training I get as an Army civilian.

We were all pretty tired by the end of the day, but it was a good day for sure. Some stores were already decorated for Christmas, so that sparked my Christmas spirit. And the windows were pleasant to see. I am really starting to get excited for the Christmas markets here, and most of all for my mom's visit. It's going to be great to have her here for three whole weeks! I have a lot to look forward to. This is my favorite season.

...Alex sometimes has a hard time waking up in the morning, and I still feel so bad for him about it. This morning was one of those mornings, but I told him we're putting up the tree this weekend. Then a little bit later I told him I'll bet he's looking forward to summer, and he said no, he was looking forward to Christmas. I know he's okay, but in a way this will be a rough two years for him.

I had a good experience last week at the grocery store. A man came up to me and started talking to me in German, and I understood him! Woo hoo! I didn't converse but I was happy to actually understand him. Other things are still lost in translation, though. I'm building up that list! I had been a little bit discouraged about it, but I think I'm back on for trying. In fact, I think I'll open up Duolingo right now!

I love and miss my friends and family! Just thought you should know.

Outside of Porta Nigra

Porta Nigra

Coliseum

Inside Jail Cell at Coliseum

Imagine a prisoner looking out at a crowd

Coliseum: green represents where the crowd would be

Around Trier, Germany

A little bit about me

At risk of showing my egocentrism, I thought I might write about myself a little bit. I think that most people know me pretty well. I think I'm pretty open and would be accused of over- as opposed to under-sharing. But I've been writing so much about my family and our current status, I thought this would also be appropriate.

I am 41 years old, and there are many things in my past and present that shape or have shaped who I am today. The greatest of these things is my faith. In my faith, I struggle between Paul's command to us to pray continually, and the knowledge that God is in charge and knows all things. If He already knows everything, how much do we pray? At what point do we begin nagging God? How much prayer indicates a lack of faith? Sometimes when I pray, I pray once and then leave it. "Dear God, please let me get that job." I know He knows if I should get it, so I don't feel the need to mention it again. Sometimes, like when my 15-month-old has a fever for five days straight, I pray just about every time I touch her sweet little head. Where's the balance? This is a question whose answer I still don't have, and I believe it is formative for me.

Obviously, marrying and having kids this late in life has also shaped me. I married David when I was 31, but Alex wasn't born until I was 35. I've always, and I really mean always, wanted four or more children. But I never wanted to have kids this late in my life! It definitely has its ups and downs. Mostly I am glad that I am where I am in life in relation to my kids, but I wonder how I will feel when I am 59 years old at Lilly's graduation from high school? And how will my kids feel about that?

That brings me to another question that basically drives who I am today: How does one define success? I had this conversation with one of my friends a while back. It's kind of difficult to find a definition that fits a broad audience. By the world's standards, my job might make me successful. But does that then make David not successful? Of course not! So how does someone without a career outside the home define success? I know someone who home schools 4 children. What a hard worker and organized woman she must be! Her kids are so sweet and seem to be doing well. I think she is the epitome of success!

But then, since I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and never been able to, does that mean I'm actually not successful? Or is the fact that I have peace and contentment and joy in my life what actually makes me successful? (That's probably it, or at least in the right direction.)

And about my job...I work for the Army as a civilian, and I have for 12 years, now. My job as a Department of Defense civilian has treated me very well. I make decent pay and I enjoy my job quite a bit (sometimes more than others). I have been able to do so many different things and travel to many different places because of my job. Sometimes it's a struggle. I'm currently working in a male-dominated field (go figure), and since I'm relatively new (I've been here four months already!), I have to build my reputation. I was telling David that I have to work harder as a female to prove myself than a male does. It's true! But it's something I've dealt with quite a bit in my life and I can handle myself pretty well (if I do say so myself).  This week I briefed a "before action review", which was saying "here's what you did poorly the last time, let's do better this time." I was a little bit unprepared and a lot more nervous than usual because I haven't done much briefing in the past several years, but I have only been there for 4 months, so I was happy enough.  So far, working here in Germany has been a good assignment, and I think it's going to stay that way. 

I am very grateful for this stage of my life, which in general was wholly unexpected until January of this year. But truthfully, I am grateful for every stage of my life, and I have been for a while, now. It has been fun to be young and have adventure in the Navy. It was fun going to college and starting a new job for the first time. It was so much fun getting married and having kids. Carrying twins and even having c-sections were adventures of their own. Now it's fun being in a new job in a new country. But even before I left, it was starting to get fun to be more senior at work and try to help other people succeed. I also look forward to every day as the children grow older. All the way until, someday, I will be a Grandma (God willing)!

That's what I think. Life is fun and God is good.

Baby's feeling better after a 5-day fever from a UTI. Bad German doctors! I went to them 3 times in 5 days!

The man I love. We are only 1 week shy from our 10 year anniversary!

This girl's smile lights up my life.

Alex in the rain at Legoland. So much fun spending time with the family that weekend!

My little buddy. Often by my side and I am glad of it!