That devil

This has been quite a rough week.

I'm on the airplane heading to Tel Aviv now. For the past couple of weeks, I have to say that I really feel like my husband has been working against me. Because of that, and because of other things that have been going on, I've been feeling like the devil has (or his minions have) been working against me.

My complaints are not major. I know that. I really do, and I feel like, in spite of how hard things have been leading up to this point, God has put His hedge around me. My family is all healthy, for one thing. Alex's surgery went so well, and I am still so thankful for that.

But my goodness, I am tired.

I mentioned earlier that I had something to support this week that I found interesting, and it's true and I did it. That being said, I had to be in to work early and leave late. I was supporting for three days, but I had forgotten that the first day of the week was Tuesday, not Monday, and so the fact that the conference started on the second day of the week meant that I could not take off on Friday so that Dave and I could prepare for my departure. Yikes.

Then last week, around Tuesday, David said, do I need a passport to go to Israel? Because you know mine's expired.

As a matter of fact, I did know that. But I had forgotten. And if you've been following my blog at all, you already know how often my memory has failed me and how much help I really need with getting things taken care of. A lot. Now what?

I had been tracking prices on plane tickets and it was time to buy or bow out. I bought his ticket, taking a risk that even an expedited passport might not make it in time. With the first appointment we could get at the passport office, we would only have two weeks for it to arrive. But I want David to come to Israel so badly. Because I love him. Because he deserves it a lot. Because Israel is so amazing. Because I miss him. Because, really, who is David again? Seems like I don't get to spend time with him these days.

Yesterday was his appointment at the passport office. Mind you, when I made the appointment, I thought I would be able to take a nice day and have lunch with the kids and take them to the playground while David got his paperwork taken care of. Because I thought the conference was over on Thursday. But it wasn't, and I couldn't get out of work and didn't even want to ask.

So I rode the bus in to work yesterday for the first time. It wasn't bad, but my first bus was late and I missed the connection. It didn't make me late because I reserved that much leeway, but I wasn't early like I wanted to be. On the way out of the conference, which finished up around lunchtime, I dropped my favorite coffee mug that was a gift from a friend that was a replacement of the coffee mug that one of the kids dropped. Shattered it. (Sorry, Nikki! You know what to bring me when you visit, right?) Then I read a text from Dave, and I inferred from it that David did not even expedite the passport. I call him to verify and tell him that he's not going to get to go to Israel. I am, after all, in a hurry to get back to my office, write my report, and head home so I can pack since I had to leave at 0630 this morning.

But I go to the passport office because I REALLY want him to come to Israel. And I spend about an hour there to find out that, no, David didn't mention that he was leaving in two weeks (as I already knew), no, we don't expedite passports from this office, but yes, there is a chance that you can get a passport in time from the consulate. The generous man at the passport office will ask the consulate on Tuesday if they can issue an emergency passport. But it will only be good for a year, and it's possible as much as not possible.

Neither David nor I are willing to accept responsibility for this fiasco. He says I knew his passport was expiring because he told me last summer (which he did). I say I shouldn't have to remember everything for everybody (which I do have to but fail), least of all for a 45-year-old man. Then he says that he can't remember because everything is too hard because of all the kids and we don't have a second car and...

You know. The difficulties of being over here alone without our support network are endless. But the benefits of being over here at all are magnificent, and I expect going to be even better this year. So that is where we are.

I am resolved to the fact that David and I will not be reconciling this fiasco. Because of that, I am resolved to the fact that something similar is going to happen in the not-too-distant future. I am not soliciting opinions for who's right and who's wrong. I am really only writing about it to vent, and to push you all, you who are reading this, to keep praying for us because we need it.

We really do! That devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy! He's pretty good at his job, too. Now, we're supposed to find out if we'll get a passport or not by Tuesday afternoon at the latest. I would LOVE to be able to update this post with the great news that David got his passport. But I don't think it's likely, and I'm trying not to be too sad about it.

But I'm just so darn tired. And when I get tired, I don't handle stuff as well as I normally do. So I'm a little beaten down by this sad likelihood. And people (especially David) seem to think that these three weeks are going to be a "nice break" for me, but that's just not so. I'll make the best of it, for sure. I'll enjoy the sunshine and maybe get a chance to do some sightseeing. But I'll be working a lot and I'll be away from my family. Right?

So yes, I need your prayers. And David needs your prayers while I'm away, especially the first week and a half until Mom comes to help. We'll get through it of course. And we have so much to look forward to!! But in the meantime, we really need those prayers!!!