Sunday, July 29, 2018

Rude people

A couple of months ago, I decided I was tired of the rude people of Germany, and the next time someone was rude to me, I was going to give it back. I had my opportunity two times in Berlin. I'm not talking about the general difference between friendly (some may say overly friendly) Americans and the cold politeness (some may say overly cold) of Germans. I'm talking about people who actually go out of their way to be rude. Like the cashier at the hardware store when I first got here who shared a disdainful look with the customer in line behind me because I didn't understand the amount of money I needed to give her. Or the man across the street one time who gave me an absolute scowl after he yelled something in German at me which I couldn't hear and to make my life easier, I yelled back "Ich sprache kein Deutsch."

Two women were downright rude to me and the kids in Berlin, and I gave it back to them both.
Well, honestly, I got that out of my system. It's just not me. And I don't think I need to defend myself against these rude strangers because who are they to me? I'm not going to see them again. I used to date a man who was always rude back to rude people. He said they needed negative reinforcement to stop their bad behavior. Maybe those two ladies will think twice before they're that openly rude to someone they don't know, and so maybe I did the world a favor. I have to admit they both seemed surprised, like they'd been rude like that before and never had an issue. But what was the consequence for me? The consequence was that I actually had to get angry about it. So I felt anger and frustration twice in Berlin, and that's not how I want to spend my days.

So, rude people of Germany, have at it. I might contradict you if you interfere with my kids again, but generally, I guess you can go ahead and show your ugly selves to me, and I won't care. I have under a year left until I go back to the friendly (some would say overly friendly) United States, so I know I'll survive. And I won't become like you. I'll continue to smile at you and say "guten morgen". The nice ones will say it back and smile back. You rude ones will just scowl and look away. No. Big. Deal.

Of course, not everyone in Germany is rude. At the swimming pool, some boys were pushing past Alex and Griffin at the top of the waterslide, and after the third time, I yelled "Nein" to them. They didn't know what I wanted them to stop doing, so at the bottom, they asked me what again, I was able to get out (in German), "He is first." It wasn't that they were cutting line that was bothering me, though. (From experience, I'm guessing that it's not considered rude to cut lines in Germany.) It was that it appeared unsafe for them to push around my four year old at the top of the water slide.

His Mom heard me yelling and in perfect English told me if I have a problem with her kids, I should take it to her. Well duh! That is exactly my philosophy, too, so I got out and apologized to her and explained that her boys were making me nervous by pushing around my four year old at the top of the slide and that I did not see her before. Then she apologized to me, and talked to her boys, and they apologized to me (also in perfect English), and I told them I knew they were good boys but I didn't know they spoke English so well, and everything was fine. In fact, that woman and her family were just lovely. I think her boys were identical twins, and they were so sweet, after all!

I know that France has a reputation for being rude, but that was not my experience at all, at least not like the Germans, anyway. In fact, the one time Michelle didn't hold our hands taking the train in Paris, when the second train was closed due to construction and I was trying to figure out what to do next, two people stopped to help us. In my opinion, the Germans FAR outdo the French in rudeness. I wonder what I would think if I had a chance to live in France for a year?

2 comments:

  1. I felt the same way about France! I was only there for a few days, but I was taken aback by how friendly they were (after my mom had warned me that they hate Americans). Hang in there, Patty - you’re doing great!!

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    1. Aw, thank you, Nikki! I'm still having fun. Just making observations for the most part. But some things are very surprising to me, even after being here for a year!

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