David and I are laughing

So. David says this is what we get for trying not to be the typical Americans by trying to learn the language.

We have been to McDonald's here often enough to know that they have a chicken nuggets menu item that makes sense for us and the kids. The picture on the sign above the cashier calls it the "Hühnglaubliches menu."  David and I have both mastered that very difficult word! But oddly enough, and I just found this out about David, we've both been getting very strange looks when we order it, and have often had the response, "Chicken nuggets?"

Well. After 8 months of being here, I finally just learned (through a news story I was attempting to read along with the help of Google translate) that the word for "unbelievable" is--can anybody guess?--"unglaubliches". So McDonald's was doing a play on words, and it got us. Thanks McDonald's.

When I was in college, Taco Bell had an advertisement that said, "Think outside the bun." I had an Egyptian friend at the time, and one time he told me to think outside the bun. I gently corrected him, but I thought it was so. darn. cute. For some reason, I don't think the Germans have that kind of emotional reaction to my language blunders. Hah. Germans. I'll share our impressions later. I'm building up my thoughts.

Have a great night! (Or day.)

Sitting in the waiting room

I'm sitting here and I have anxiety. My nerves are jingling, but at the same time, I have confidence that it will be okay. I'm surprised I'm nervous, actually.

Naturally, things were lost in translation for this appointment today. Last week, they told me they would call me the day before and tell me what time to come in. Of course they didn't. I left work early enough and called them, and fortunately they answered. I asked what time should I come tomorrow. They said, "Morgen". I said, "Welche Uhr?" Which is supposed to mean "which hour". They said 1200. I said, "mittag?" because I thought he was coming earlier. They said yes. Of course, this is my side of the story. I'm sure the office people have a different story they would tell! "Morgen" means tomorrow and morning, so that could be the main source of the confusion. But I don't know why mittag would have come into the conversation at all. Oh well. Doesn't really matter, and the ear doctor was kind about it. I appreciate him.

I show up, and his name isn't on the list at all. The lady then figures out that I'm late and should have come at 0730. Great. If you follow me on Facebook, you saw that they accommodated us. Fortunately! And that's why my nerves are jingling, because he's going under anesthesia.

That boy has been SO excited to eat popsicles, pudding, and ice cream and to be off from school for a week. He got the line in for his anesthesia without fuss, and I'm proud of him. His kindergarten teacher told me that his class is excited for him for the ice cream and pudding, but many of them think it's too cold to eat popsicles. How cute! I hope he isn't too sore. I remember waking up from my adenoids being removed at age nine. I don't remember any pain, though. So I'm hopeful.

I'm going to update this when he's done. Thank you for your prayers.

He's sore. At first he was in a lot of pain. Like, too much pain to handle it. Then the doctor, with whom I'm very pleased, ordered the anesthetist to give him some pain medicine. He must have ordered the good stuff, because five minutes later, Alex was calm and still. Thank God. It was very difficult to watch him suffer. I did, mind you, tell him the same thing that my mom told me when I had my adenoids removed: that I would take his pain for him if I could. It was true, of course, but for some reason, I think that this suffering will make Alex a better person. I wonder if that's true.

He had his pudding and ice cream. He goes back to the doctor tomorrow for a check-up, and again on Tuesday. I'm hoping that he can make it back to school in time for Valentine's day. Isn't that silly of me? 

I was pretty impressed with the whole ordeal. They did't make it as much of one here as they would have in the States.  A little while ago, the doctor called to check on Alex. That was nice.  He also gave me a phone number to call at any time. Also nice.

Again, thank you for your prayers. I'm praying for a good night for him, too.

On the road to recovery

Tuckered out on the short ride home

GRRRRR! He's not going to cry when he gets the needle!

GRRRR!

Just waiting

The things I feel guilty about

"Confess your sins one to another."   --James 5:16

I'm writing this on the supposition that I am not alone. Do other mothers / women / human beings have feelings of guilt from time to time with which they struggle?

I felt guilty yesterday morning for getting impatient with Alex before school. He would not move no matter what I said, and my frustration was starting to show. It probably isn't even his fault. I'm pretty sure he can hear almost nothing. (Praying that improves after today's surgery.)

I feel a little bit guilty when I come home on Thursday night wanting to do absolutely nothing. Thursdays are hard for me. I am tired because of the end of the week, but knowing I still have another day to go makes me feel even more tired. I've been that way for my whole adult life.

I've been thinking lately that I'm ready to start getting in shape again. The birth of twins at 37 and another baby at 40 really did some damage to my body, especially my core. I know I need to work on that. But then, I feel guilty for spending an extra hour away from home when I'm already gone so much each day and overall. And this is my conundrum: then I feel guilty for not being a better example for the kids, and for not taking the best care of myself so that I can live a long and prosperous life.

I feel guilty sometimes when I do other things to take care of myself, too. I don't really spend money on myself to buy essential things like good shoes or a nice coat. Many of you saw that I started as a personal consultant for Rodan and Fields (http://pattyalexander.myrandf.com), but at first I felt guilty for spending money on myself for that skin care. It seemed like it was too much, even though the products last for several months with each purchase. Now I'm probably going to feel guilty because I don't want my friends to think I'm pushing them, even though I know what good it has done me, and I just want to share that good. To my faithful friends, especially the handful of you who read this regularly or follow me on Facebook regularly, please know that our friendship won't be affected by me becoming a consultant. I love you because I love you. The driving force for me doing this is because I personally feel so blessed by how good it has been to my skin. The other driving force, perhaps, is that I'm a little bit crazy because the Lord knows I have a busy life. But honestly, I've been praying about it for 5 or 6 months. I like the idea of a new challenge in working out the paperwork behind the business and in understanding the way it works. It's going to be interesting to me, I'm sure.

See, now I'm feeling guilty about writing too much about my new business!

Anyhow, the verse I wrote above is probably misleading. I don't think that buying myself this skin care or a nice coat or good shoes is a sin (for me). I actually think that feeling guilty over these things is the true sin. Here's why:

1) “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, so that there may come times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord, -- Acts 3:19

I think that these good things are actually a blessing from God. I have repented (and continually repent) and rely on the blood of the Lamb, and therefore I am now in a time of refreshing. I know the time of refreshing may not last because the fallen state of the world impacts our lives, but for now, things are good. And I also know that I'm heaven bound so true refreshing will surely happen. That's always something to look forward to.

2) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.  -- John 10:10 

What is this abundant life that Jesus is talking about? I know it's not centered on things. My life is full with my family and the other blessings that God puts in it. But at the same time, He doesn't want me to be riddled with stress that I'm not a good mother because I'm going to the gym to work out instead of being at home to make sure the kids get a bowl of cereal before I leave. (I haven't started that yet, BTW.)

3) For our proud confidence is this: the testimony of our conscience, that in holiness and godly sincerity, not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially toward you. -- 2 Corinthians 1:12 

Here I think the key is about conducting ourselves in the world with holiness and godly sincerity. I am not proud that I have achieved this yet, as Paul is in this verse, but I am hopeful that I will make the mark at some point. And instead of having a guilty conscience over things which I should not, I will have proud confidence in its place.

As it stands now, I am looking for a healthy balance. I have no idea why I feel this guilt sometimes. I think it might be societal. But I know that if I rest in Christ's abundant love and in the abundant life that He gives me, He will guide me and continue to draw me closer to him. And that is what's important, because someday on this earth, I will say My Last Amen.

Speaking of abundant life, check out this matar paneer that David prepared yesterday from start to finish. It was delicious!

Griffy the cat!

I love your past, present, and future.

View from Church of the Redeemer

O Israel, hope in Jehovah; For with Jehovah there is lovingkindness, And with him is plenteous redemption.  And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities. 

(-- Psalms 130:7‭-‬8 ASV https://bible.com/bible/12/psa.130.7-8.ASV)

My title is directed toward Jerusalem again.  I got to visit Jerusalem for about four hours on my last Thursday in Israel. Once again, it was incredible.

I can't do it justice, I'm afraid. It is amazing and fascinating, and most incredibly, Jerusalem is timeless.

I am fascinated by its past. Living in Europe for this short amount of time has given me a new perspective on history. I feel like being here has brought me closer to history. I am more able to imagine people walking the same steps I'm walking, only 700 years earlier. When I go to Jerusalem, it's not only 700 years as most of the museums near me seem to focus (except the archaeological museum, which goes back much further), but 2500+ years. It's awesome.

I am fascinated by Jerusalem's present. Are you watching what's going on? The fact of President Trump moving the embassy to Jerusalem is a BIG deal. Whether you agree with him or his decision or not, this move could have biblical implications. We will wait and see.

I'm most fascinated with Jerusalem's future. Do you see those verses from Psalms in the Bible? God is going to redeem Israel from all his iniquities. 

Redeem.

I visited the Church of the Redeemer in the Old City while I was there. It had a tall tower that we were able to go up and see some great views of Jerusalem. It also had a beautiful congregation area. I wish I could attend a service here. I think it would be beautiful.

I'm thinking about the word redeem and how it applies to me. 

Talking about Jesus Christ, Titus says this: ...who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify for himself a people for his own possession, zealous for good works.

(-- Titus 2:14 WEB https://bible.com/bible/206/tit.2.14.WEB)

Not only is He going to redeem Israel from all iniquities, He is also going to redeem us from all our iniquities. He's going to redeem me.

For what purpose? So that I can belong to Him, and be zealous to do good works.

God's been talking to me about works lately. I think I'm to the point in my life when I have to stop excusing my lack of good works due to the fact of having four little kids. I enjoy doing good works, but I haven't really devoted myself to any since I was the treasurer of a small church in MD before we moved to PA. So now what? This is becoming my latest challenge.

Will you pray for me about it? What are your good works? How do you fit them into your busy life? How can I do good works even while I'm often away from my home base for the work that pays my salary? These questions are on my mind a lot these days.

I am getting so excited. Mom's ticket is bought and she will be coming in March after I leave. I'm very close to buying Dave's ticket to come while I'm there. He has no idea how good it will be. I mean it. No idea. I'm way more excited about him coming than he is about it. But he'll understand why once he gets there.

And I want to offer this to my female friends and perhaps any of my blood relatives: If you want to share my hotel room so you can visit Israel more cheaply, email or text me. I have my dates between now and until I leave Germany, and it's possible they could work for you.

It's taken me so long to write this. I'm going back soon. I hope the weather is calmer, but no matter what, I know that this is a blessing from God that I surely don't deserve. I will praise Him and worship Him forever.

Delicious falafel

Church of the Holy Sepulchre

On the way

Church of the Redeemer

Also Church of the Redeemer, nearly halfway up

Graduation at the Western Wall

Market mosaic and store

Leather at a market stall

Crazy weather. See the water coming past the pavilions?

It was at this point that I departed for the airport

My mental state as I'm traveling

Saturday, 6 January: I have a lot of travel this month, as I mentioned in an earlier post.

Tomorrow I am heading to Bavaria for four nights. I've been there often enough now to know what to expect. What I like about it is that it's very low key, with somewhat set hours for work, and not stressful. Even driving there is getting less and less stressful. I will come back on Thursday.

On Saturday, I am heading to Israel again. I don't think I'm going to get a chance to go sightseeing for a whole day. We have a lot of work to do. I will still get to go to Jaffa and Tel Aviv in the evenings. And my hotel is the same one on the beach, so it will still be quite lovely. I don't think the sun has been out in Germany for about four weeks, so I am going to soak it up as much as possible while I'm in Israel. I'll be coming back on Friday the 19th.

Needless to say, all of this traveling is going to have me away from home starting tomorrow.

Sunday, 7 January:... And it's tomorrow. I've decided not to publish this until after I get back. I don't want to tell the bad guys where I'm going and whatnot.

But here I am in the hotel. I stay at a family run place called Hotel Rattunde. It's cute. I like their breakfast. I'm in a newly remodeled (or maybe expanded?) room and it's nice. I'm watching The Departed on tv. In English. Do you remember that movie? Not one I would recommend for my mom, but I liked it well enough.

Let the fun begin. I hope it goes well. I'm missing the family already. I hope they do all right while I'm gone. I know they will, but boy is it going to be a hard couple of weeks for them.

Tuesday, 9 January: ... Isn't it ironic what I wrote above about this trip to Bavaria being relatively low stress? Can you imagine how stressed I was when I realized I lost my wallet?! (If you didn't read that one, read it here.) I actually was getting queasy! I was near tears! Ugh. I hope the rest of the week/month/year is better! (I'm hopeful.)

Friday, 12 January: ... So yesterday on my drive home, about 40 minutes away from Grafenwohr, I saw that my colleague had sent me an email telling me that he found my i.d. card. What the heck is wrong with me?! Forty minute round-trip again, because I can't go to Israel without it. What was wrong with me was that I was trying to get out of there in time to drop the government car off yesterday. Obviously, I didn't make it. You can't imagine what a hassle it is! Seriously, I'm sure I'll vent about that someday.

Anyhow, I dropped it off this morning, and am now riding the bus home for about an hour and 15 minutes. Sound like a waste of time on my one day off for about 13 days? Well, it's better than hauling Dave and the kids along with the rigmarole of turning that stupid car in. Next time I'm getting a rental car.

I might get a cultural day in Israel again, after all. Not Jerusalem probably; too many of the old city gates are off limits right now. But maybe the Dead Sea and Masada. ?? God willing.

Ooh ooh! Because of the bus ride with a changeover, I was able to get some of the best falafel in Wiesbaden. David will be happy.

Saturday, 13 January: I got to the airport way too early. The gate for security isn't even open yet. Last time, I couldn't believe how long it took me to get to my gate.

Doing this made me think of the trip over here with the family. I'm still in shock about how hard that was. But instead of really thinking about that, I was dwelling on the difference between coming here and going home. Going home will be lovely.

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited for this year and all that it has to offer our family. God willing, this year we will see the tulip festival and Amsterdam in the Netherlands, Paris, Denmark and the North Sea, Tuscany, Venice, Vienna, a small town in Austria I flew over and would like to visit, Strasbourg, Barcelona, and more of Germany. That's very exciting!!! But it's also exhausting, and this work travel, although also exciting, is exhausting too. So coming home will be, like I said, lovely. Peaceful. Coming home just to the house will be like coming home to a good friend. Not to mention, I will be coming home to good friends, many of whom I dearly miss!!

I'm surprised how much I miss my home. I knew I loved it from the first day we saw pictures of it on line. I never stopped appreciating it for the three years we lived there. But being away has made me fall in love with it again. And the household goods move, as badly as it went, has made me appreciate what I had in my home and how well I had it set up. I'm happy to report that we have had some progress on that front. An inspector came and looked at our damaged goods and took pictures. They will repair some things and replace others. I'm slightly optimistic that it will be closed out to my satisfaction, except for the timeframe, of course. It has been five months since I've moved. Four months since I submitted my claim. They're supposed to have two. But as long as it's resolved sufficiently, I'll be happy. I'll wait as long as it takes.

I'm starting to feel stress about Alex's surgery. I shouldn't feel stress about it. I'm a Christian and I trust God, right? But I'm a human, too. So keep me in prayer about that, okay? I normally don't get stressed, so when I do, stressing out is stressful. That makes sense, right?

...I just made it through the gate. It was equally difficult to say goodbye to Lilly and David this morning. I almost teared up. I know how brief my absence is, but still. But now that I am through the gate, I am getting so excited to leave this gray. I'm really looking forward to some sunshine. I hope I can get my fill to tide me over until March.

Sunday, January 13: It rained all day today. Bummer.

Wednesday, January 17: It's been cold and rainy here in Israel. The people who have been here often have said they've never seen it like this. I've had one day of sun. It's been disappointing, but even one day was good. And tomorrow, I might be going back to Jerusalem. I hope so. I'm excited. I've been working 11-hour days since Sunday, so I'm looking forward to having part of the day off, and seeing what I see. I'll be with a big group, so I don't really know yet. But it's going to be a good day, God willing. And then home on Friday. Yes!! Can't wait for that, either.

Also, I saw a spur-winged lapwing today. Never saw that before!!

Friday, January 19: On the plane in Tel Aviv. Layover in Warsaw but not long enough to take advantage of it. Plane is a little bit late, but I'll be okay for my connection.

I met a girl just now, from L.A., living in Israel, and on a sort of scholarship program to help her decide if she wants to live here. What a great opportunity for her! I wonder what she will do.

I can't wait to go home. I miss David and the kids so much. So so much! I got to go to Jerusalem yesterday again and it was wonderful. We had been considering going to the Dead Sea, but it is winter here and has been colder and rainy. It was clear and beautiful in Jerusalem yesterday. I will blog about that later.

I think I will be back in 4 weeks. Please pray that we are able to bring David over when I come back and that I can get some time off while he's here. Sightseeing in Israel together would be such a blessing to me!

...Well, I just flew from Tel Aviv to Warsaw. I sat beside a nice Russian man who spoke only Russian and Polish. He was teaching me some words in Russian. Did you know that babushka means butterfly in Russian? If I understood him correctly, of course. But I think I did.

Getting ready to board for Frankfurt. Can't wait to be home!

The Patty strikes again.

I am on travel for work this week. I traveled here via government car yesterday. I admittedly wasn't looking forward to the drive, but it went smoothly and was okay. I am working on a playlist of the songs I listen to on German radio. It is eclectic. I could maybe say I even enjoyed the drive a little bit.

I like the breakfasts at the hotel, so this morning, I woke up, ate breakfast, and went into work. Good start to a long week. At about 1000, my first meeting wrapped up, and I thought I would enjoy a cup of coffee. I had just enough time to get a cup before the next meeting.

My wallet wasn't in my purse!

I remembered that I had used it when I stopped at the rest area, to get a 1 euro coin out for the restroom. So I knew at least that it wasn't in Wiesbaden, and that I'd had it with me. So I convinced myself not to panic before going back to the hotel room, which I couldn't do until after noon.

It wasn't there.

Now, this is by the grace of God:

By the grace of God, I wrote that little story on my blog called, "Lost in Translation", where I bumbled up the German so much in the Autohof that it was memorable to me.

By the grace of God, yesterday I stopped at that same Autohof, only for the second time ever.

By the grace of God, I thought, "I'm going to remember where this is so that maybe David and I can stop here if we're ever on this road someday."

By the grace of God, I actually remembered.

By the grace of God, because I remembered, I was able to find contact information for the Autohof and email them.

By the grace of God, they responded promptly.

By the grace of God, a customer turned in my wallet intact.

And by the grace of God, I picked up my wallet today and will be able to do my job tomorrow, which I wouldn't have been able to for weeks if I had actually lost my wallet.

Praise God.

There was too much working against me here for me to leave this to chance. I know some people don't believe in God. But talk to me about it. This was one blip of God's goodness in my life. He has done so much more for me than take care of my wallet. I'd be happy to tell you about it some day.

Side note: did you get to read my tribute to my husband? If not, please do. He deserves everyone to know how awesome he is. You know what he said when I told him about this via text? He texted me, "I thought I was going to need to road trip." He didn't chastise me or complain about getting the kids ready or doing a 6 hour drive (round trip). He was totally prepared to support me 100%. So glad I posted that entry a couple of days ago! He is my knight in shining armor.

This is my expression to myself. And, yes, I am wearing a Captain America t-shirt.

A tribute to my husband

When I was about 20 years old, and just getting into dating, a woman named Diana suggested to me that I write a list of all of the qualities I would like to find in my future husband, and that I never settle for less than what I put on that list. I did it.

I don't have the list anymore, but I remember the obvious ones, which are still at the top of my list:

1) a Christian
2) a church-goer
3) likes to travel
4) is intelligent
5) is going to be faithful
6) values family highly
7) treats his mom well
8) wants to have lots of kids
9) has at least one hobby
10) likes watching movies

That's the majority of them.

From the first day that I met him, I realized that David met everything on my list, at least as best as I could tell from what my brother knew about him and what I could glean from that first introduction. I met him on a Saturday and went to work the following Monday telling my friends at work that I had met the man I was going to marry. And one year from the anniversary of our first date, I did it.

A little over ten years later, I know that I made a good choice all those years ago. Even after getting to know David so much better, I am able to say that he indeed meets all of those qualities that I put on my list. And I certainly do thank God for him.

I probably complain about him too much when I shouldn't. There are many days I'm sure he feels underappreciated or even maybe, although I hope not, unappreciated. He is, after all, in charge of the everyday at home. The routine. The "mundane" (in quotes because life with four kids really can't be mundane). And what a blessing he is to me. I mean, for one thing, our kids are good. They're really good, I would even say, and I attribute that largely to David. For another thing, he is willing to do just about any task I ask him to do (just about, but not quite!). He does almost all of the food prep, dishes, laundry, and other things that many men would refuse to do. He also kills the big spiders and takes the trash out which, as stupid as it may sound, was something I looked forward to the entire time I was a single adult. We watch movies and TV together, we travel together, we have had kids together, we used to (and I hope will again someday) backpack together, we go to church together, he plays guitar (sometimes for me and sometimes for Jesus), and we are in general, very compatible together (is that redundant?). I love him.

Oh, and the other thing that's really great about David that also tells me how well-matched we are: Did you read my blog about going up to the Baltic Sea, when I forgot the kids' suitcase and had to buy enough clothes for all of them for the long weekend? Well, that's typical of me. I'm always leaving my purse behind or losing my phone. And David is so patient about it and never gets upset or chews me out because of it. Thank God. As if leaving behind the luggage isn't stressful enough, right?

I'm writing this tonight because it makes sense to me. I've been blogging for over six months, now. I've written about myself and my kids a lot. I haven't said much about David, yet he's the other half of our foundation. So I thought I would tell the world (or at least 15 people) how thankful I am for him. Sure, we have our difficulties. Marriage is NOT, at least in my experience, bliss. Sometimes it pretty much sucks, and sometimes it is so rewarding it's hard to believe. Sometimes the reward is just in the fact that I have a good man with whom to grow old. Thank God for that.