On my way to Tel Aviv

I don't know if you can imagine my emotions right now as I sit in this plane as it takes off for Tel Aviv. I am a mixture of melancholy and bubbly excitement. I know that this week is going to be a big burden on David, and it makes me sad. I also know that the kids will feel my absence, perhaps most of all Lilly, and that makes me sad, too. This is probably only my second time away from the kids for more than just a couple of nights, and leaving everyone this morning was hard. Add to that the expressions of concern for my safety I've heard from most everyone, and this trip is really making me quite sad.

But at the same time, there are things that I've greatly desired in my life but never thought would actually be possible. Or things that I've greatly desired but just not quite enough to spend the kind of money needed to get that which I desire. Seeing Israel, the home of my faith, was one of those things. And yet here I am, on my way to Tel Aviv for my first of what could be three times over the next six months. I may indeed get to walk in the same place or places as my Savior. I may get to see the port where Jonah left before getting swallowed by a big fish. I may look on the land of the prophecy in the books of Daniel or Revelations. And I will, at the very least (more than likely), get to enjoy the Mediterranean Sea and eat some shawerma tonight for dinner.

I can't believe it. I'm on the plane in flight and I still can't believe it. Because nothing in my life is more important to me than Jesus and my relationship with Him. When I read the Bible, sometimes I have to remind myself that this Man actually walked the Earth and lived a real life, so I tend to focus on the descriptions of the surroundings when given. What was His life really like? How were His interactions with the everyday people that He met?

I think of the Samaritan woman at the well at Sychar in the book of John (chapter 4). She says, "Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did." Really? We are not given very much detail about the conversation, so either she lived a very simple life and didn't get out much, or Jesus actually spent a lot of time talking with her. This is one of my favorite stories to put myself into as a fly on the wall. Imagine seeing her talking with this Rabbi. How progressive He is to be talking with her! Imagine what the disciples think as they walk up and see Him talking to her. Are they surprised? Are they angry? Or do they think, There goes that Jesus again. Always bending the rules to include somebody new.

I think of the well itself and the surrounding area. I've been in the desert before and appreciate how precious water is. In fact, after I finished my deployment to the Persian Gulf, I basically swore to myself that I would never again be in a situation where I couldn't have ice. I wonder if Jesus, who is God, felt hot and thirsty at this well and lamented not having something with which to draw the water. How familiar was He with suffering at this point? Did He already know how thirsty He would be on that day when He died for my sins?

Yes, I'm excited. Some things in life are in the realm of possible, and some are not. And sometimes, our great God moves the impossible into the realm of possible just to bless us. I feel He's done that for me today. I don't know why, nor do I need to. When I was pregnant with the twins, which I had wanted since I was about 12 years old, I struggled with why I have been so blessed in my life, pretty much my whole life, and why had God granted me what was probably my biggest desire (boy/girl twins). I really struggled. Why did He choose to bless me but not some other people in my life? I know I haven't earned those blessings, and it was actually quite a religious struggle that I was going through, mainly because I was worried those blessings were just going to be taken away from me. I finally got some peace when I got this answer: Mary, the mother of Jesus Himself, didn't ask that question. In fact, all she really said was, From now on all generations will call me blessed. So who am I to ask?

One thing about this big move to Germany is that I won't know if it was a good decision until we're safely back home. Have I said that already? I'll elaborate. This big move is not without risks. David and I think that we understand the risks and that the benefits outweigh them. But what if we're wrong? When I was pregnant with the twins and worrying so much that it was too good to be true and something bad was going to happen, I received another answer that also gave me peace, and it continues to give me peace everyday. I know, and some of my friends and relatives who have already suffered a great deal know this too, that whatever suffering I am called to do, I will not be doing alone. I know that my amazing Savior, whose footsteps I may get to retrace this week, will always be there for me and carry me through if I need Him to.

This is all because of Jesus. As I've been saying so often already, I am grateful.

I checked into the hotel. Somebody is going to have to pinch me.