Mom is leaving.

My time with Mom is winding down. She leaves Thursday. Even as I write that, I get tears in my eyes. I'm going to miss her very much. It's been so nice having her here. So nice for me and the kids. She's a big helper and a pleasant person. I love her so much.

We didn't do quite as much as I had hoped we would, namely because I got intimidated by the crowds that first day she was here. But today (Tuesday), Dave watched the kids all day so that we could go to Frankfurt together. The plan had been to go with the whole family, but the twins got woken up by Alex and his nightmare at 4:00 a.m., and didn't go back to sleep. That would have made for an awful day. Not to mention, it was cold and rainy and dreary and the twins both have colds. So I'm glad we were able to go alone in spite of the plan. (Thank you, honey.)

A new museum opened up in the church in Römerburg. It was really nice. Small but inexpensive, and their artifacts were so impressive. Church artifacts from the 1300s. Amazing! I enjoy the religious history much more than any other history. It was a nice day for Mom and me.

We also visited the archaeological museum of Frankfurt. Their exhibits were impressive, but the permanent exhibit had no English explanations. It was still very interesting as it revealed artifacts excavated near Frankfurt. I found it interesting because when I think of Europe, I think of the Medieval and Renaissance periods, but they had found artifacts from much further back than that. Of course. If I think of the caves in France, I would remember that humans on this continent go much further back than the Medieval period.

The temporary exhibit had English translations and was very interesting. It depicted Etruscan culture and the gods of Old Italy, where there were many different gods similar to Greek mythology, but it seemed they had a greater fascination with death and the afterlife. I would even go so far as to say it was a little bit creepy. The museum overall was very interesting, and much bigger than it looked. I didn't take pictures today but will attempt to next time I go.

I always get a little bit sad after Christmas. Factor in Mom leaving on Thursday and the gloomy weather. It's not a good outlook. I know I have such a great opportunity here, and I'm grateful for it, but can I just be human for a bit? I'm sad because Christmas is over, Mom's leaving, and January and February are going to be tough months for us. I have to travel about 2.5 weeks total in January. I'm looking forward to the sunshine that I'll get when I go to Israel again, but right before that, I have to travel to Grafenwohr, and right after that, I might be going to Romania (neat, right?!). All this travel is hard on all of us. Hard for Dave for obvious reasons, hard for the kids since I'm not around to be with them, and hard for me because I'm not around Dave and the kids. That's January. February is going to be tough because Alex is scheduled to have his adenoids removed. In the meantime, the poor kid can hardly hear at all. But have you ever taken your kids willingly into surgery? That's a hard thing to do! Thank God it isn't worse. I know that. It's still hard, though. I'm taking him in knowing that he will suffer. I hope he's old enough to understand. I hope it's the right decision.

Pray for us, okay?

St. Bartholomew

This is nearly 600 years old

Mom and I in Romerburg 

Mom is here!!!!!

I'm so happy that my mom is here!! We met up in the airport without incident, even though we had no way of communicating and it took a little while for us to connect, but the reunion was so sweet!

I had the great idea to take Mom and the family to the Wiesbaden Christmas market the day Mom arrived in order to help her stay awake until later and get on our schedule. I also had the bright idea to take the train so I didn't have to fight for parking in town. That train was crowded! It was challenging on the way there to navigate the train with the stroller (David), Griff (Mom), and the other three kids (me), but we did it okay. 

When we got to Wiesbaden, two stops only which is so convenient, we ate at McDonald's. Was it gluttony? We ordered 60 chicken nuggets and three large fries. You should have seen the look on the lady's face when I said "sechszig"! But the cashier was pleasant enough and the kids tore into them. I think Lilly wasted half of one and that was it!

As soon as we left McDonald's, I realized it was colder than I had expected, so I thought we'd make our trip short. It wasn't easy, since we still had about .8 km to walk to get to the Christmas market. I let the kids ride the merry-go-round and bought them some candy. Neither Mom nor David got to look around much, and the kids were ready to go home. I thought about the bus since the train was so crowded, but David wanted to take the train again anyway so we didn't have to switch.

It was even more crowded on the way home! Same arrangement, but this time I got separated from Mom and David inside the train car. I signaled to Mom "two stops", and got off when it was time. I didn't see Mom's door opening, so I hurriedly gave Livvy and Alex to David and ran to the door while carrying baby Lilly. I didn't have enough time to shuffle her over to David! When I pressed the button to open the door, it was so full that people almost fell out backwards! I yelled "Mom!" in a near-panicked voice, and fortunately she heard and answered. She and Griffy pushed through the people. They no sooner got off and the train started moving. Whew! I thank God that wasn't the disaster it could have been!!!

I thought we might take the train to the Rudesheim Christmas market the next day, but her luggage hadn't shown up, and they were going to deliver it, so we stuck around the house. I was glad for the excuse because I wasn't prepared to fight a crowd like that again so soon! Maybe we'll just stick to weekdays while she's here, instead. (We eventually made it to Rudesheim. See? And we visited the Mainz Christmas Market. Lovely!)

Update: Mom's luggage showed up, and we spent the entire day shopping in Wiesbaden, including a nice visit to the Christmas market on a weekday without the kids and with a much smaller crowd. Saturday we had a small birthday party for Alex. However, Lilly had been sick again with a fever. She's all better!

I had planned to work four days this week. I changed my mind! I need to take Mom to a couple more cities in Germany, and I'm already running out of daylight! It's been so wonderful having her. I'm so happy she's here.

On the way to Burg Rheinstein

Mistletoe and a view

Burg Rheinstein

Inside the Chapel

View from a window

Mainz Christmas Market

Quite a crowd!

A brief update

Sitting in the doctor's office with Alex. We're at the ENT because Alex can't hear and in Germany, the pediatricians don't mess around with ears, apparently. So the ENT took one look and said we need to remove his adenoids. That was last week. Today we are getting the surgeon's opinion. I am sure it will be the same. I had mine removed when I was nine, and Dave and I both had a lot of ear problems as children. Poor little buddy! He's such a trooper, even as described by the kindergarten teacher and by the school nurse. He takes it well. I'm not going to be taking it well, putting my poor little buddy into surgery at six years old!

I remember when I was getting prepared for surgery when I was nine. They were giving me a shot in the bum and doing a very poor job of it. They kept sticking me and I cried and cried. I remember my mom telling me that if she could bear the pain for me, she would. Those weren't her words, probably, but that was the message. And it was at that point that I started realizing really for real how much Mom does for me and would do for me. And in general, the same for most of the moms out there.

This will be a challenge, though. My work schedule is loading up like crazy, and I really don't want to do this over December. I may be gone for 2.5 weeks in January, so it would be February more likely. I don't think the surgeon will like that at all. (Neither do I.) But it is what it is!

We missed the opening ceremony of the Christmas market this week. But Alex and I just walked through it on our way to the doctor, and unbeknownst to Dave, we're coming this Saturday. That will be so nice!

I'm going to Bavaria for work on Sunday. It will be another rough week for Dave, but he's doing pretty well holding down the fort while I'm gone. I'm very glad that Mom will be able to come out while I'm away in March for 3 weeks. After that, I'm expecting things to slow down.

... Yep. Surgeon agreed with the ENT. But it will be done in early February, so that is good.

So excited for Christmas! Getting more excited as time passes, with Mom coming and the Christmas markets opening up. St Michaelmas is coming. What is that when the kids put their boots out? And we just had the twins' fourth birthday! Woo hoo. It's my favorite time of year.

Merry Christmas and God bless you all!!

Snowing at the Casino

Wiesbaden Christmas Market

Alex enjoyed the fries

Getting so big!

MMM. birthday cake

Trier, Germany

Trier, Germany was every bit as awesome as I expected it to be. It rained the entire day but was still incredible. We saw the Porta Nigra, a coliseum, and a good part of town since we walked to the coliseum. There was a march or protest, which I pulled the family away from for our safety, thanks to the training I get as an Army civilian.

We were all pretty tired by the end of the day, but it was a good day for sure. Some stores were already decorated for Christmas, so that sparked my Christmas spirit. And the windows were pleasant to see. I am really starting to get excited for the Christmas markets here, and most of all for my mom's visit. It's going to be great to have her here for three whole weeks! I have a lot to look forward to. This is my favorite season.

...Alex sometimes has a hard time waking up in the morning, and I still feel so bad for him about it. This morning was one of those mornings, but I told him we're putting up the tree this weekend. Then a little bit later I told him I'll bet he's looking forward to summer, and he said no, he was looking forward to Christmas. I know he's okay, but in a way this will be a rough two years for him.

I had a good experience last week at the grocery store. A man came up to me and started talking to me in German, and I understood him! Woo hoo! I didn't converse but I was happy to actually understand him. Other things are still lost in translation, though. I'm building up that list! I had been a little bit discouraged about it, but I think I'm back on for trying. In fact, I think I'll open up Duolingo right now!

I love and miss my friends and family! Just thought you should know.

Outside of Porta Nigra

Porta Nigra

Coliseum

Inside Jail Cell at Coliseum

Imagine a prisoner looking out at a crowd

Coliseum: green represents where the crowd would be

Around Trier, Germany

A little bit about me

At risk of showing my egocentrism, I thought I might write about myself a little bit. I think that most people know me pretty well. I think I'm pretty open and would be accused of over- as opposed to under-sharing. But I've been writing so much about my family and our current status, I thought this would also be appropriate.

I am 41 years old, and there are many things in my past and present that shape or have shaped who I am today. The greatest of these things is my faith. In my faith, I struggle between Paul's command to us to pray continually, and the knowledge that God is in charge and knows all things. If He already knows everything, how much do we pray? At what point do we begin nagging God? How much prayer indicates a lack of faith? Sometimes when I pray, I pray once and then leave it. "Dear God, please let me get that job." I know He knows if I should get it, so I don't feel the need to mention it again. Sometimes, like when my 15-month-old has a fever for five days straight, I pray just about every time I touch her sweet little head. Where's the balance? This is a question whose answer I still don't have, and I believe it is formative for me.

Obviously, marrying and having kids this late in life has also shaped me. I married David when I was 31, but Alex wasn't born until I was 35. I've always, and I really mean always, wanted four or more children. But I never wanted to have kids this late in my life! It definitely has its ups and downs. Mostly I am glad that I am where I am in life in relation to my kids, but I wonder how I will feel when I am 59 years old at Lilly's graduation from high school? And how will my kids feel about that?

That brings me to another question that basically drives who I am today: How does one define success? I had this conversation with one of my friends a while back. It's kind of difficult to find a definition that fits a broad audience. By the world's standards, my job might make me successful. But does that then make David not successful? Of course not! So how does someone without a career outside the home define success? I know someone who home schools 4 children. What a hard worker and organized woman she must be! Her kids are so sweet and seem to be doing well. I think she is the epitome of success!

But then, since I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and never been able to, does that mean I'm actually not successful? Or is the fact that I have peace and contentment and joy in my life what actually makes me successful? (That's probably it, or at least in the right direction.)

And about my job...I work for the Army as a civilian, and I have for 12 years, now. My job as a Department of Defense civilian has treated me very well. I make decent pay and I enjoy my job quite a bit (sometimes more than others). I have been able to do so many different things and travel to many different places because of my job. Sometimes it's a struggle. I'm currently working in a male-dominated field (go figure), and since I'm relatively new (I've been here four months already!), I have to build my reputation. I was telling David that I have to work harder as a female to prove myself than a male does. It's true! But it's something I've dealt with quite a bit in my life and I can handle myself pretty well (if I do say so myself).  This week I briefed a "before action review", which was saying "here's what you did poorly the last time, let's do better this time." I was a little bit unprepared and a lot more nervous than usual because I haven't done much briefing in the past several years, but I have only been there for 4 months, so I was happy enough.  So far, working here in Germany has been a good assignment, and I think it's going to stay that way. 

I am very grateful for this stage of my life, which in general was wholly unexpected until January of this year. But truthfully, I am grateful for every stage of my life, and I have been for a while, now. It has been fun to be young and have adventure in the Navy. It was fun going to college and starting a new job for the first time. It was so much fun getting married and having kids. Carrying twins and even having c-sections were adventures of their own. Now it's fun being in a new job in a new country. But even before I left, it was starting to get fun to be more senior at work and try to help other people succeed. I also look forward to every day as the children grow older. All the way until, someday, I will be a Grandma (God willing)!

That's what I think. Life is fun and God is good.

Baby's feeling better after a 5-day fever from a UTI. Bad German doctors! I went to them 3 times in 5 days!

The man I love. We are only 1 week shy from our 10 year anniversary!

This girl's smile lights up my life.

Alex in the rain at Legoland. So much fun spending time with the family that weekend!

My little buddy. Often by my side and I am glad of it!