Alexander Family's Big Adventure: Paulaner's Wiesaden

There is so much to do in Germany, and even in the state of Hesse alone. A family could make a very enjoyable vacation out of a fair-weather trip to Hesse, and even without a car. The first thing you will want to do is download two crucial apps for your visit without a car: the DB Navigator app and the RMV app. (Search the Play Store for "RMV Hesse". It is the RMV Rhein-Main-Verkehrsverbund app that pops up.) Although it is not necessary, I recommend tying a credit card to both of these apps as soon as you can to facilitate ticket purchases. The next thing you will want to do is to buy a portable cell phone charger so that when you purchase e-tickets on RMV, your battery doesn't die on you and cost you a 60 Euro fine for not having a ticket for the train or bus. (That never happened to me, but over the course of two years, I saw several people get ticketed or get kicked off the train or bus.)

I got to know Hesse a good bit, so here are my recommendations for a family vacation there without a car:

1) Day 1: Travel. Red-eye flight from the U.S. to Frankfurt. Immediately upon arrival, withdraw at least 200 Euros in cash, because Hesse (and Germany in general) is very much a cash economy.

You may have one or more of these expressions on your face during and after a long day of travel to Germany.

2) Day 2: Romer Plaza. Use the RMV app to direct you to the right train from the airport to your AirBnB near Romer Plaza. Don't go to sleep! Leave your luggage at the AirBnB and go visit Romer plaza. Grab a cup of coffee at ConditCouture, and if you're up for it, enjoy a piece of cake. Sit outside if the weather is nice and enjoy the view.

After you've rested a bit at the cafe, visit the cathedral, its museum (including the second location), and the architecture of the "New Old Town". It is absolutely lovely. There are dozens of restaurants near the area. I recommend finding a place for schnitzel, which is German comfort food at its best. After lunch, I recommend either a stroll across the bridge to the Design museum, or a visit to the Goethe House for a good picture of life in the 1800s for the wealthy in Germany. I suggest that you do NOT visit the Schirn Museum on your most tired day! Get to bed early, but try to stay awake until at least 8:00 p.m. so that the rest of your trip is enjoyable.

Inside the cathedral is a photo that shows the destruction surrounding it following the bombings of WWII.
It is worth the visit just to see that photo.

3) Day 3: City change and Wiesbaden visit. On your first full day in Germany, leave Frankfurt and get a place to stay in Mainz for the next 4 nights. Check the RMV app to find the most efficient route. The train is easy enough, but will probably require a transfer. This short trip is a good way to learn how to navigate the public transportation system. If you mess up, it should not be a giant mistake.

After you check in to your "new home" for the next 4 nights, get back to the bus or train station and take a trip to Wiesbaden. The things to visit there include: Kochbrunnen, a well from the hot springs the town is named after, the Protestant Church, the Landeshauptmuseum, and a good place to eat, such as Hans im Gluck or Lovt & Liebe. If you did not get schnitzel in Frankfurt, or if you desire another evening of German cuisine, I recommend Paulaner's in Wiesbaden. It is a small chain and they are very family friendly. If you are there in the summer, visit Ciao Ciao for some of the best ice cream (ever!). There is also the Casino (kurhaus), if that is of interest to you. It did not fit my family, so we never visited it. These activities should easily fill up the rest of your afternoon.

A beautiful July day in Wiesbaden

4) Day 4: Rhein River Cruise. You can take a Rhein River Cruise from Mainz, and I highly recommend it. Overall, this will be a nice relaxing day, which will probably be welcome after those first 3 days full of aggressive travel and little rest. Bring water! It is possible to do a round-trip cruise, but I don't recommend it because you will be on a boat for about 8 (or more!) hours, and the afternoon will be just about the exact same as the morning. Instead, I recommend that you get tickets departing from Mainz, and get off at St. Goar (not to be confused with St. Goarshausen). Have a radler (beer with lemonade) on the cruise. At St. Goar, you will take a short walk to visit Burg Rheinfels, which is a nice castle to visit while in Germany. They are friendly, the upkeep is good, and the kitchen is downright fascinating (because it is a a medieval kitchen--imagine having to cook in it!). After your boat ride and your castle visit, take the train back to Mainz. It is an easy, beautiful train ride that doesn't require a transfer. If you want a convenient, low maintenance dinner, try Mosch Mosch. It's sort of like the Noodles & Co. in the U.S.

* Cultural note: If you go into Mosch Mosch, and many other restaurants in Germany, you will sit close to people you don't know. When you sit, greet them with "Hallo" or "Guten Tag" or "Guten Abend". When you leave, depart with a "Tschuss" or "Schon Tag" or "Auf Wiedersehen". That is what is polite.

Really. The Rhein River Cruise is fabulous.

FABULOUS.

5) Day 5: Mainz. Mainz has become one of my favorite cities. The things to visit there include: The Dom (cathedral), The Gutenberg Museum, The Schiff Museum (Museum of Ancient Seafaring), the Roman amphitheater, the incredibly blue Chagall windows at St. Stephen's Church, and the Isis and Magna Mater museum, which is underneath a small shopping mall, but really is a must-see because of its uniqueness. There are also other Roman ruins all around Mainz that could be of interest, depending on your time and energy levels.

Three of my favorite windows ever.

6) Day 6: Rudesheim Romantik Tour. This is a great day-long tour that gives you a different view of the Rhein River. Take the train from Mainz to Rudesheim, and follow the crowd to the ticket office for the Rudesheim Romantik Tour. It involves hiking, so bring sunscreen and water. It also involves 2 gondola rides, so I don't recommend it for small children, since the rides are open. But it is a nice day that will show you some beautiful views, some interesting architecture, and some really nice vineyards. Return to Mainz for your last night there. I hope you will be sad to be leaving.

A small part of the hike on the Rudesheim Romantik Tour. Beautiful. This was taken in August.

7) Day 7: Return trip to Frankfurt. Take the train back to Frankfurt, and deposit your luggage at your next sleeping place, once again near Romer Plaza. Visit the Schirn Museum and the Design Museum or Goethe House (whichever you didn't on Day 2). The Schirn Museum is world-renown and deserves your wakeful attention. I recommend checking the exhibitions on their website before taking your children, as some exhibitions may not be appropriate for children or youth. Also note that the Schirn Museum has a great play area for your young kids.

Did I ever mention in this blog how much I love the Schirn Museum? Nothing I could say about it would do its exhibitions justice. Go visit it.

8) Day 8: Return trip to the U.S. Take a morning flight home. Leave in the morning to get there in the afternoon.

I had the last dinner with my mom for the month tonight. It was a very yummy dinner at Paulaner's in Wiesbaden. We stopped at Schloss Biebrich on the way. I still don't feel like Mom saw enough, but I hope she's happy like she says. I'm fairly certain she had a great time with the kids. I'm completely certain the kids had a great time with her. We also took the kids to the playground on post, because we had to go to the post office to pick up our expected package. (I had a couple of absolutely lovely surprises waiting for me. Thank you, Leanne and Holly! Totally made my day!) We made it to dinner after all of that.

So the thing about eating in Germany, in case you don't already know, is that they don't take your order quickly, rush you from course to course, and they don't bring your check until you ask for it. (Usually, at least.) I've heard it's because the restaurants want you to feel welcome. It's risky business, if you ask me. Take me, for example. I had quite a busy day before we finally made it to the restaurant. I walked in around 5:00 with four little kids and three adults. It's a decent-sized party for not having reservations. But I've been there before and we were early, so I knew we'd be okay. The kids were hungry and getting impatient. But our soup or salad came out shortly after the drinks. A while later the weisswurst and the rest of the order showed up. In between the salad and the the main course, I looked over at Lilly and saw something quite shocking. (Should I do it? Should I write this corny joke even knowing my mom might read this? Yes, I must.)

I looked over at Lilly, and I am not shitting you, I saw a big streak of poop going up her back. And even worse, I noticed a huge puddle of diarrhea directly under her high chair.

Patty, what did you do?!

Honestly, at that point, the only thing one can do is react. What SHOULD I have done? I'm already the embarrassing American family who doesn't speak German and has very loud kids. I certainly don't have the language skills (anyone know how to say "poop", "diarrhea" or even "floor" in German?) to go tell someone my baby spilled diarrhea all over the floor. So out came the baby wipes, and I used them to mop up the brown liquid before the second course of dinner arrived. Then I hid the soiled wipes inside a clean diaper and walked to the bathroom with Lilly in my arms and a big smile on my face because everyone was smiling at the cute baby. (Well, she is.) And I ate the second and third course like nothing happened.

Looking back on this awful yet absolutely hysterical event, I have two things in my mind. One, I kept saying and thinking, "I've never had anything like this happen before!" Because I hadn't! Nor would I have ever expected anything like it. It was crazy! Literally a puddle of diarrhea just lying on the floor. And Lilly wasn't fussing at all. And it wasn't really up her shirt or all over her legs as one (who is lucky enough to know these things) would come to expect. And two, I keep reliving this beautiful moment in my head, and seeing a puddle of poop lying on the floor under the high chair, but it seems like it was a physical impossibility! Did the poop defy gravity? Did it defy the laws of physics? How did it go from her diaper, miss her clothes, her high chair and land underneath (not next to) her chair?! Directly under her chair?

Well, I never had anything like that happen before. I hope I never do again! But the other funny thing about it was how nonchalantly I wiped up the poo. People were walking in to start their dinner, and I just turned my body to block the view from what I was doing. I wondered if they could smell the poop? I could! But they came in anyway, so it must not have been terrible. I'm sure the bathroom is pretty rank by now!

I just talked with Mom and David about it. We're all kind of in awe and shock about it. Mom thinks it might have been the apple juice. I guess that's possible, but it seems too fast. Not sure what else it could have been. And Lilly isn't acting sick at all, which of course is great.

Ah, the adventures we have. Not just for living in Germany, but for being a family with four little kids. It's a blast and then some, I'll tell you that!